Comics on the Brain

Chill out with 'Maroo of the Winter Caves'

2012-05-28T13:17:29Z

It was through a series of random clicks on eBay that I came across Ann Turnbull's "Maroo of the Winter Caves." The 136-page book from 1984 is for young readers and offers the story of Maroo, a young woman who lives in a nomadic family-based tribe in Europe's prehistory.

No, she isn't a caveman, or even a cavegirl. Not in the classical sense, at least. She and her family aren't brutes who carry clubs, but thinking people who carefully live their lives by harvesting what the "spirits" bring to them.

I found "Marro" as I was looking for some books on what life was like in prehistory -- but not just any book. I wanted to know how people lived before they began to settle down, plant crops and start cities. Naturally, this is a time we modern people know very little about, so I wanted someone who had the imagination to flesh out our understanding of their lives. Archaeologists have a fairly good idea about what things were like back then. They have unearthed the tools those early humans used. They know what animals they hunted. They have some guess of what they wore and where they slept.

But what did they think about? What did they say to one another? What brought them together and tore them apart What were they afraid of and what gave them comfort?

Those are the kinds of questions I had. I wanted to know this as I brainstormed an idea for a comic -- a comic about the early humans and the trials they went through -- and short of reading "Clan of the Cave Bear," this book gave me a pretty good idea.

In fact, it's not hard to imagine this as a 60 or 70 page graphic novel. Most of the dialogue is internal, so an illustrator would have a lot of leeway in his or her depictions of the action surrounding Maroo.

As I mentioned before, I was doing an internet search for something about life in prehistory and all those clicks kept on leading me back to "Maroo of the Winter Caves." Sure, it was a book for kids, but more than a few online reviewers said, essentially, "Yeah, this is a pretty likely imagining of what life was like back then."

Reading it, you're sure to agree. Turnbull's descriptions of everyday life are probably spot on. Just like the anthroologists say, Maroo and her family migrate with the seasons, following their prey animals to the lush mountains and the sea shore in the spring and summer. Before winter arrives, they retreat back to the plains, where they reside in "the Winter Caves." Along the way, they hunt animals and forage for goodies that their world provides for them.

It's after a few of chapters describing her typical life that "Maroo of the Winter Caves" really gets going. After that, Turnbull turns up the intensity on Maroo's life with one challenge after another.

About a third of the way into the book, obstacle after obstacle gets piled on the family. They suffered losses, but also find new reasons to look forward to the future.

While I mention "intensity" above, don't mistake "Maroo" for an action-adventure. Instead, this is a look inside the head of an early human who frets about difficult journeys, finding food, hearing strange sounds and animals who might not really be animals.

It's that insightful writing that makes Turnbull's narrative interesting. It's easy for us to imagine the thrill of the hunt, but it's the not-so-obvious details -- like how a fur-lined hood can help with snow blindness -- that really makes this a valuable read.

For a young reader, such lessons won't be so obvious. The book, even at its relative short length, might seem a little dull. There's no magic (even if there's the constant threat of spirits assaulting them), there's no space battles (even though they're guided by the stars) and no spectacular battles (even though there's a face-to-face encounter with a cave lion).

Instead, young readers should focus on the details that Turnbull sprinkles through her book and they too might have a greater understanding of the lives of their ancestors.

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Teachers and parents interested in having their kids check out "Maroo of the Winter Caves" should check out Judy Graham's "Maroo" worksheets, which include a chapter-by-chapter vocabulary guide and questions about the story.

Buy Maroo on eBay

Buy Maroo on Amazon

(c) 2011 John Simcoe

Men in Black: ALF on deck

2012-05-25T09:54:03Z

The third "Men in Black" film opens today, and Comics on the Brain is happy to dig back through it's pre-SoundAdviceForToday.com days to recover some files from our days on GeoCities. Once again, we look at some material we created for the "Men in Black Role-Playing Game," a fun D6-based system that offered fans a chance to become agents of the alien-monitoring Earth organization.

Read another "MIB RPG" entry here.

In this addition, we look at one of the most sinister aliens living among us. You know him as that lovable puppet from the 1980s. Yes, we're talk about the schemes of ALF.

http://youtu.be/yhFE4oxig04 (actual opening credits)

GORDON SHUMWAY (Alien)

NAME: Gordon Shumway
OCCUPATION: Talent agent and actor
ALIAS: Alf
SPECIES: Melmacian
GENDER: Male
HEIGHT: 1.1 meters
WEIGHT: 38 pounds
AGE: 245 (Born in 1756)

ATTRIBUTES/SKILLS:
Reflexes . . . 2D+1
----Dodge 3D
----Piloting 3D+2
Coordination . . . 2D
----Lockpicking 2D+2
----Sleight of Hand 2D+1
Endurance . . . 1D+1
----Sport: Bouiliabaseball 4D+2
----Sport Skleenball 3D
Strength . . . 2D
Knowledge . . . 2D+1
----Alien Tech 3D
----Computer Ops 2D+2
----Linguistics 3D+2
Perception . . . 2D
----Hide 3D
----Conceal 2D+2
----Languages (all Earth Dialects) 4D
Confidence . . . 6D
----Con 7D
----Streetwise 6D+2
Charisma . . . 6D
----Charm 6D+2
----Persuasion 7D+1

BODY POINTS: 24
CHARACTER POINTS: 7
FATE POINTS: 2
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Adaptive Language (see Alien Race: Melmacian)
USELESS SKILLS: Knows 32 recipes for cat. Former runway model. Former used spaceship salesman (Knows the ins and outs of all Phlegm models).

HISTORY: The alien known as Gordon Shumway crash landed in Los Angeles shortly after the planet Melmac exploded, and quickly started assimilating into Earth society. First, he got "adopted" by an Earth family, and then he started making in-roads in the entertainment business.

About 3 years after his landing, Shumway officially "outed" himself to Earthlings at large, by starring in a TV network sitcom.

Press releases from the show told the public that Shumway wasn't really an alien, but a puppet, similar to those utilized in "The Muppet Show." Surprising critics and Hollywood Insiders alike, the show, called "ALF," became an instant hit.

Shumway's popularity shot through the roof, and among Hollywood circles, it became generally known that Shumway was indeed an alien. Once this came to light, he became a popular party host at his mansion in Beverly Hills and even had an open-ended guest spot on the game show "Hollywood Squares." Most recently, Shumway starred in a television advertisement for a telephone company and hosted his own late-night talk show.

While Shumway has generally avoided the limelight for nearly 10 years, he has been active in the entertainment business as a talent agent for aliens appearing in films, video games and television. This unique role has served Shumway well. His net worth is in the millions, and he has at least three space-worthy vehicles at his disposal.

The big concern MiB has with Shumway is his treatment of his fellow aliens. In interviews with his clients, MiB agents have had some strange encounters. At certain times, the alien actors are positively ecstatic to work with Shumway, at other times, they make disparaging and bitter remarks about the Melmacian. In fact, in the last year, MiB has investigated at least three mysterious deaths that have been linked to Shumway. Sources say that in 1992, Shumway used his power and influence to strong-arm a group of alien actors who had taking refuge at Lucasfilm's Skywalker Ranch. The situation ended when MiB broke up a near-riot between Shumway's goons and a smaller group led by Ricky Wellenblat (known for his title role in "E.T. - The Extra Terrestrial"). With some legal manuevering, Shumway avoided deportation and began a dispute with Wellenblat that exists to this day. (Most of Wellenblat's group was deported off planet.)

As a way to "give back to the alien community," Shumway has worked for alien rights. He even appeared before a Senate subcommittee on alien immigration. Whether or not he truly believes in this cause remains to be seen.

PERSONALITY: For the most part, Shumway is a likeable, friendly alien with a very public persona. However, digging just a little below the surface of the personality popularized by his show, agents are likely to find a tough-as-nails businessman. Despite that, Shumway has a great sense of humor and he only resorts to more sinister means when all else fails.

EQUIPMENT & WEAPONS: Shumway is normally not armed. He leaves that to his bodyguards, usually three or more Grilbachs (MiB Alien Recognition Guide Vol. 1 p.23).

MELMACIANS (Alien Race)

HEIGHT: 1 meter to 1.5 meters

WEIGHT: 30 to 60 lbs

ATTRIBUTES MIN/MAX:
Reflexes 2D/4D
Coordination 2D/4D
Strength 1D/3D
Endurance 1D/3D
Knowledge 2D/5D
Perception 2D/5D
Confidence 2D/6D
Charisma 2D/6D

STARTING DICE POOLS: 24D for Attributes and 7D for Skills

COMMON SKILLS: Dodge, Lock Picking, Alien Tech, Computer Ops, Forgery, Scholar, Artist, Business, Hide, Language, Con, Streetwise, Willpower, Charm, Persuasion.

SPECIAL ABILITIES:
-- ADAPTIVE LANGUAGE (Melmacians have a marvelous gift for learning new languages, and get a +2D Language bonus to any language they're exposed to for more than 24 hours.)

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION:
Mammalian with a thick mat of hair in a variety of colors. Their nose ends in an elongated snout. Ears are thick and somewhat pointy and sit at the top of the head. Black, rodent-like eyes. Melmacians breathe oxygen and are comfortable living in any Earth climate. Melmacians tend to enjoy Earth food, especially domestic shorthair feline.

SOCIAL DESCRIPTION: Melmacians are somewhat charming aliens bent on leeching off others and loafing around. This life-focus has provided them with amazing social and business skills, making them one of the most successful races in the galaxy. Despite this success, there aren't actually a whole lot of Melmacians, probably because of their extremely long lifespans. They also have a habit of fanning out when among alien races instead of congregating in large groups, or even family units. This behavior allows live in an almost parastic relationship with other races with relative ease. More motivated Melmacians are excellent businesspersons, who could sell an ice to an Eskimo or sand to a Martian.

ON EARTH: The Melmacians on Earth are widely scattered across the globe, often living off charitable humans who allow them in their homes. In the distant past, Melmacian visitors were labeled "goblins" by Earthlings.

DISGUISES: Most natives of Melmac don't bother disguising themselves on Earth, a never-ending annoyance to MiB. Instead, they rely on the fact that they can convince Earthlings that they're the only alien on the planet, and their new human friends ought to keep their secret.

http://youtu.be/IqSPQHoS_t0

The Long Job 5: Home Improvements

2012-05-24T20:36:20Z

Is this what they call Redneck Pride?

CLICK THE PIC FOR A LARGER IMAGE!

OTHER EPISODES!
The Long Job 1:The Interview
The Long Job 2: Clothes Make the Man
The Long Job 3: On the Rebound
The Long Job 4: Work Terms
The Long Job 5: Home Improvements

MORE COMICS!

The Downward Spirals -- Your team of hockey-playing opossums!
Redlighter No. 1 -- How can a lighthouse keeper defend his town from pirates?
Poodles Vs. Penguins -- Natural Enemies at War!

INTERACT!

What's the most "redneck" thing you like to do?

(c) 2011 John Simcoe

Cliffs Notes for Hollywood: The Fafhrd and Gray Mouser comic

2012-05-23T00:40:40Z

Thanks to a string of successes stretching back to "Batman" in 1989 and taking center stage in 2012 with "The Avengers," comic books clearly have fallen into favor among the Hollywood crowd.

With crisp visuals that provide a snapshot of key story elements and action, comics have turned into the perfect source material for screen adaptation.

Sure, there are plenty of failures, but the successes have been especially rewarding for both the viewers and the film companies.

Just this week I was looking through Dark Horse Comics' 2007 reprinting of "Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser," a collection of comic stories of two rogues' adventures in the steamy, sweaty and stinky fantasy city called Lankhmar.

In fact, the comic company stated back then that their prime reason for getting the comic published was to jumpstart a film franchise.

The series was originally published by Epic Comics in 1995 with art by Mike Mignola. But hold on -- Mignola, creator of Hellboy, isn't the creator of of Fafhrd or the Gray Mouser, and neither is Howard Chaykin, the comics' writer.

Instead, the characters trace their origins back to writer Fritz Leiber, who introduced the characters way back in the 1939. Their stories continued to be published for decades and their popularity grew accordingly, even if they never reached the cult status of the likes of Conan the Barbarian.

In a Comic Book Resources article, writer Chaykin sums up the enduring appeal of Lieber's stories: "It's smarter, it was more urbane, it had a definite kink to it that was an edge to the material, and it was funny."

But if the stuff is so darn great, why hasn't someone been interested in making a movie?

Do movie producers need pretty pictures to get their attention?

Are they so dense they can't just see what gets reprinted again and again?

Don't they realize people are still talking about these stories, years after their publication?

Can't they just e-mail Comics on the Brain and ask "Hey, what would you like to see turned into a movie?"

The apparent answer to all those questions seems to be "No."

Instead, it has become more than apparent that movies, especially high-concept ones, have to be spelled out first in another medium first, and lately that key medium seems to be comic books.

In a sense, comics can serve as the Cliffs Notes for movie directors too busy to discover the original format for the story. Comics are quick and easy reads, after all.

You can finish one sitting on the toilet.

More importantly, comic books offer the script, storyboards, costume designs, camera and lighting guides in one simple package. Once you've got the comic, half the work's done.

Hire some actors, turn the camera on and you're set to go.

So, if you've got a great idea for a movie buzzing around in your head, CotB suggests that you make it a comic first. If you don't, don't come complaining to us if it takes a few decades to make it on to the silver screen.

(And yes, by the way, all those Fafhrd and Gray Mouser comics ... and the short stories that preceded them ... are darn good. Go check them out.)

(c) 2011 John Simcoe

Art projects: Craft themes for boys

2012-05-22T01:06:00Z

Walk into any craft store and you will see oodles of fun activities. Painting sunny pictures. Scrapbooking. Rubber stamping. Flower arranging.

All of those are great -- as long as your a girl. It's true some boys might even like them, but not too many.

Even then, when you're all done with your scrapbook and your rubber-stamp project, they usually end up looking very quaint, dainty or even pretty. Not exactly the kind of thing that makes a boy feel cool.

In fact, there's not much to hang in a boys room, unless you're going to offer except of the Avengers, Star Wars, Transformers or a sports hero. To steer clear of such merchandising, you have to make it yourself.

The problem is, after baseball and dinosaurs, craft stores are usually barren of ideas for boys. Well, Comics on the Brain is here to change that with our massive list of craft themes for boys.

Yes, it's true, craft stores do offer some stuff for boys. There's model kits, volcano dioramas, Boy Scout pinewood cars and science experiments. But those are all projects that you build with a boy. Not necessarily a craft you can make for them for a birthday or special occasion or, even better, mass produce and sell at a craft fair.

CotB suggests you to take a look at all the "frilly crafts" out there and apply a boy-friendly theme. You have to steer past those wood-craft projects with the "heart-shaped holes." You will often have to put aside the paint kits that come with a lot of crafts -- ones that have pinks, purples and aquamarines. You'll have to figure out ways to de-pretty the craft.

Most importantly, you will have to adapt. You have to look at the shape of the object you're about to build and think about how it can become "cool." The best way to do that is to figure out how to apply a boy-friendly theme.

THEMES

This is a list of boy-friendly themes that can be applied to craft projects.

Superheroes and villains
Race cars and motorcycles
Cowboys and Indians
Sports: Baseball, football, basketball, hockey and lacrosse
Maps and topography
Soldiers, sailors and marines
Tanks, Jeeps and Humvees
Helicopters and jet planes
Boats and submarines
Deep sea divers and sunken ships
Jungle lords and lost kingdoms
Dinosaurs and volcanoes
Sharks, Octopi and orcas
Wolves and bears
Lions, tigers and panthers
Frogs and salamanders
Snakes and alligators
Construction equipment and big rigs
Tools and blueprints
Bugs (the non-cute kind) and spiders
Ninjas and samurais
Karate fighters and fighting duels
Pirates and treasure chests
Barbarians and vikiings
Wizards and warriors
Mythical monsters and classic heroes
Space ships and planets
Aliens and sci-fi
Astronauts and rockets
Robots and cyborgs
Knights and castles
Cops and robbers
Detectives and spies
Firefighters and firetrucks
Caves and mines
Dragons and other fantasy beasts
Man-monsters: Vampires, zombies, bigfoot, mummies, werewolves and Frankenstein's monster
Ancient cultures: Egypt, Aztec, Rome and early Asia
Rock stars and country musicians
Science labs and equipment
Bunkers and missiles
Safaris and animals

Even better, take two of those themes above and merge them. Mummies on motorcycles. Astronauts vs. dragons. Racing cars through a mine. Zombies on bulldozers. You get the idea. Be creative and let a kid enjoy your creativity too.

Who else should join the movie Avengers?

2012-05-16T19:00:59Z

With the new Joss Whedon-led "Avengers" tearing up the box office record books, it's fun to look at the Avengers comic books and consider other interesting candidates for Marvel films. Create a solo project here or there and just like that you've got another member of the Avengers for future films.

Here's Comics on the Brain's picks for the lineup:

Ant-Man: The word is that there is an Ant-Man movie in the works, but some doubt his ability to be interesting. CotB's advice is to figure out a way to introduce this Ant-Man into the story, but keep all the background from the previous Ant-Mans. Quite literally, they should just tell us "yeah, there were other Ant-Mans, but they're retired now." We think an audience can handle that.
Wonder Man: Wonder-Man's origin story is actually among the more interesting of the Avengers characters. Essentially, he was blackmailed into making the Avengers think he was a bad guy, turned on them and then turned good. Later on, he becomes a movie star and celebrity as well as a superhero. All those elements could make a great solo story, but we can take the compact form in an Avengers sequel.
She-Hulk: Since everyone's familiar with the Hulk's origin, it wouldn't be too hard to throw together a tie-in movie that features She-Hulk. Even easier, the writers could just say here's She-Hulk, she's the Hulk's cousin and that would be it. What's great about the She-Hulk is that she is absolutely not a raging bad-ass. She's more of a metropolitan party girl who happens to have super-strength.
Jack of Hearts: If you've read my blog for any length of time, you'll know I'm crazy for the garishly dressed Jack of Hearts. He's one of my absolute favorite characters thanks to his unique pathos -- He's a guy who could destroy the world at any second if he loses his concentration. I have
The Vision: One of the longest serving Avengers, the Vision is a synthoid (that means robot) that could be a hilarious addition to the movie lineup in the same way that Lt. Commander Data was to "Star Trek: The Next Generation." Like Data, the Vision has always struggled with the concepts of what "being human" is, and it can be mined for laughs, drama and thrilling action. Also like Data, the Vision is routinely one of the toughest Avengers. Even better, if Whedon wanted he could use the female version of Vision.
Ms. Marvel/Captain Marvel: One of the biggest storylines in Avengers history is the invasion of Earth by the Skrull empire. These aliens are intensely bad and their sworn enemies, the Kree, have often sent their own heroes to help Earth. On of those Kree-inspired heroes is Ms. Marvel who is soon to be renamed Captain Marvel. She's got your standard hero powers -- super strong, flight and invulnerability -- but she's always just eluded stardom in the Marvel Universe. Maybe a movie franchise can do it.
The Black Panther: He may look a lot like Batman, but the Black Panther is no utility belt-wearing millionaire. He's the king of an African nation trained to be a brilliant fighter. Like the Black Widow, he has no super powers, but he makes up for that with amazing skills and a brilliant mind. In an Avengers movie, he could serve as a Black Widow substitute if Scarlett Johansson gets too expensive.

Finally, check out Comics on the Brain's post about "Marvel's Sweet Sixteen -- 16 Heroes Marvel Can Bank On" ... or at least my list of 16 heroes they should bank on!

The Bat Man before Batman

2012-05-15T20:45:05Z

It's long been known that the comic book megastar Batman had his roots in the pulps thanks to earlier characters such as the Black Bat, the Shadow and even Doc Savage.

Sure, none of them are a direct ancestor of Bruce Wayne's alter ego, but there's plenty of direct correlations between them all. The black costume and motif of the Black Bat. The use of fear to by the Shadow to put the hammer on the underworld. The millionaire bank account of Doc Savage.

But there might be another. In this blog, the author, as well as pulp historian Will Murray, cite the story "Bat Man" from Spicy Mystery Stories' February 1936 issue as another possible source of inspiration for Batman's creator, Bob Kane.

Here's how the Lew Merrill story is described:

Bat Man is the story of John Charters, who runs afoul of a jealous suitor pursuing his fiance. He becomes ill and takes on the characteristics of a bat. He also becomes something of a serial molester and the story has cannibalistic and vampiric elements.

You can even read the story here.

Beyond the "Bat Man" name dropping, this is a beauty of a cover.

You've got the deliciously terrified damsel. She was clearly surprised since she would have certainly tied her robe if she knew what was coming. You've got the corpse that's so dead it's skin has turned green. And you even know what killed the guy: a thick, unbreakable noose.

Looking at the colors of the piece it's starkly divided by the pinks and oranges on one side and the greens and blacks on the other. The division is handled well, too, with the bright colors scooping around and under the greens.

The Spicy line is widely considered to have best, most lurid covers of all the pulps, and the cover for this issue of Spicy Mystery Stories is no different.

(c) 2011 John Simcoe

The Adventures of the Scarlet Shroud: Action from the New Pulp era

2012-05-09T01:19:15Z

In the world of literary fandom, there are people who love H.P. Lovecraft, J.R.R. Tolkien, Isaac Asimov and the other greats. It's because each of those authors contributed greatly to their respective genres that they are loved so dearly. They have built characters and concepts that have stuck with us for generations. They have set forth some simple ideas and rules that later authors have expounded upon, magnified and even warped.

Sometimes these new authors hit it big. And sometimes those authors toil along in relative obscurity. Sure, everyone would love to rake in piles of cash for their writing, but for most writers? Well, they don't care about that. They just want to share their love of a particular setting or genre.

And it's people like that who kick-started a genre that's been dubbed "New Pulp." This genre attempts to resurrect interest in stories of heroes and villains from the pulp era -- Doc Savage, the Spider, Domino Lady and Fu Manchu -- by creating brand new stories of brand new heroes and villains.

These new stories mimic the harsh tone of pulp stories. They have similarly lurid plot lines. The heroes are tough. The dames are gorgeous and the villains are down-right dastardly.

A few of the New Pulp producers snag characters in the public domain. Others offer really interesting work that tries something totally new. And then there are the ones who take interesting tidbits from their favorite pre-existing characters and assemble the parts into something of their own design.

In 2007's The Adventures of the Scarlet Shroud," creators Chris and William Carney, give us just that: A new hero based on older heroes.

Part Green Hornet and part Shadow, The Scarlet Shroud is really Alaxander Holt, an assistant district attorney in New York City. He takes the law into his own hands, righting wrongs that he feels are out of reach of the police and the court system. He's assisted in his battle by his expert driver/pilot, Takeshi, and Miles Hawkins, a clever inventor and chemistry expert. The Scarlet Shroud is both wanted and respected by the police for his vigilante activities. He's also hounded by reporter Hannah Salem and detective Michael Alphonse, both of whom always seem to be close to discovering his secret.

Inside this 174-page book are four stories containing three Scarlet Shroud adventures. The fourth story is different, offering a snapshot of the day-to-day activities of the main characters.

Each adventure in the Wild Cat Books tome pits the avenger against a different villian: One is the modern embodiment of Spring-Heeled Jack, another is a man wrapped in a lightning-throwing suit and the third features a madman eager to bend the city to his will.

Through it all, the stories of the Scarlet Shroud feature gobs of action. Barely a page goes by without someone getting punched, shot at, burned alive or tortured. In that sense, "The Adventures of the Scarlet Shroud" is a perfect embodiment of the New Pulp movement: Action, action and more action.

At the same time, the book exposes another weakness of some of the newest entrants into the genre. The writers struggle at times to use the right words in their prose. Elsewhere, they offer repetitive descriptions of action and settings that should always seem fresh. These are hallmarks of a writer who hasn't the time, interest or expertise to spot their own failings and revise their work.

Still, the Carneys have a good grasp of dialogue and an impressive sense of pace. Readers will also come off with a good feel for the characters and the motivations that drive them.

Along with co-writing credits, William Carney offers a multitude of illustrations that set the scene for every story. While he's not a perfect artist and needs to brush up on anatomy, he has some skill in his pen and certainly has an eye for composing a good shot.

In the end, "The Adventures of the Scarlet Shroud" manages to entertain and keep the action rolling along on every page. It has some flaws, but fans of the New Pulp genre don't really seem to mind.

They just want to see some fists fly, and they sure do in "The Adventures of the Scarlet Shroud."

(c) 2011 John Simcoe

The Adventures of William Tell: Medieval storytelling done right

2012-05-04T00:10:49Z

Comics on the Brain, as an institution, is interested in comics in all their forms and all their genres.

In the late 1990s, we remember that Gemstone put out a series of reprint comics that offered, once again, the output of the famed EC comics company.

"Tales from the Crypt" and "Weird Science" were among the first titles trotted out, but as those wells ran dry, the series turned to lesser known titles.

CotB was particularly interested in the title called "Valor." This is because, to our surprise, there has never been a whole lot of comics about knights in armor and their contemporaries. The notable exception is, of course, the "Prince Valiant" comic strip. That's a truly great series -- if you can get past the Page-Boy haircut.

What sets the long-running "Valiant" and the short-lifed "Valor" apart from practically any other series that features knights, armor, jousts and royalty, is that both tell their stories with extremely limited use of magic as a story-telling tool. Most of the time, in fact, magic simply isn't part of the story.

When the strange arts of wizardry are is available for stories, an author has a lot more flexibility. There can be explosions, flying demons, spell-slinging dragons and magic rings of invisibility.

But when those literary devices are out of the picture, the story-telling might seem too mundane. It might lack appeal.

And, for the most part, the publishing history of medieval novels, movies, comics and TV shows bears that out. Show us a non-magic-using story from one of those media forms, and you'll find 100 magic-featuring stories that sold better.

The simple fact is that an ancient world without magic is quite boring. People die of disease. Peasants are dumb as rocks. Traveling between cities takes weeks. Food takes hours to prepare. Crops take a whole seasons to ripen.

Those same problems are made interesting when magic gets added. Ancient elixirs cure disease. Peasants can rise up and become kings. Magic carpets taxi people around the world. A snap of the finger creates a hero's feast. And crops? Well, we don't even really think about getting the harvest in when magic is around.

A magic-filled world is all well and good -- if you have the budget to pull it off.

But sometimes, that wasn't the case. In the 1950s, just as TV was beginning to wedge its way into our collective minds, production companies didn't have a lot of money for special effects, and even when they did, those effects were downright horrible.

That's one of the reasons that the Western became so popular. They were inexpensive to make. To look authentic, the sets were supposed to look shoddy.

And if you were making Western TV shows and movies, America was the place to do it.

But what about the studios of Europe. What where they supposed to do? Make a western featuring people that spoke with cockney accents? And could they make a western when there wasn't a single cactus or desert on the whole continent?

No, they had to figure out something else to do.

One production company decided to make their own type of western -- The medieval western. One that didn't have that hard-to-create magic. One that used the available scenery. One that let people have any sort of English, French, Polish or Italian accent they needed.

And this medieval western was called "The Adventures of William Tell."

Just like "The Adventures of Sir Lancelot" and "The Adventures of Robin Hood," this 39 episode series beginning in 1958 offered a dose of adventure for British viewers.

Starring Conrad Phillips, the show centered around the mythical William Tell and his battle against Austrian oppression.

Each half-hour episode would usually pit Tell against Landburgher Gessler or one of his cronies and from the simple "rebellion" plot, a good-many stories were built and cleverly executed.

There are tales of arms smuggling, secret weapons, lost plans, kidnappings, robberies and so on. Often inventive, it's important to note that each of those could easily be transformed into the plot of a western.

While the sophistication of the plots might be questionable, the action therein isn't. Fists fly, swords clash and the centerpiece weapon of the series -- the crossbow -- always gets a moment to shine.

Likewise, the actors offer some amazing performances. Even though Phillips is ridiculously heroic in every episode, there's a certain boldness that you love. His prime nemesis is played by Willoughby Goddard, and he really shines as the despicable Gessler. Likewise, Gessler's henchmen go from amusingly stupid to ruthless at a moments notice.

The costumes also benefited from a European filming stage. All the bag guys are dressed in matching chainmail while the peasants wear rags. Even the quite-obese Goddard gets a fine suit of plate to wear. A 1950s TV show from America could have never afforded such authenticity -- they would have spent all their money on horses.

The one thing CotB didn't like was the "look" assigned to Tell himself. Phillips has a head of curly out of control hair that looked clownish at times. His costume, that of a thick wool vest also made the athletic actor look terribly scrawny. But everyone else? They look great.

As mentioned, the production takes advantage of its settings too, often using the same tavern and castle pieces again and again. Even with this reuse, it's creatively done so a viewer has to keep an eye out for it.

Most importantly, the series shows that you can make an exciting story set in medieval times without magic. It's just that you have to take a Western -- and subtract the six-shooters.

Long Job 4: Work Terms

2012-05-01T18:50:56Z

How willing are you to swallow your pride?

CLICK THE PIC FOR A LARGER IMAGE!

OTHER EPISODES!
The Long Job 1:The Interview
The Long Job 2: Clothes Make the Man
The Long Job 3: On the Rebound
The Long Job 4: Work Terms
The Long Job 5: Home Improvements

MORE COMICS!

The Downward Spirals -- Your team of hockey-playing opossums!
Redlighter No. 1 -- How can a lighthouse keeper defend his town from pirates?
Poodles Vs. Penguins -- Natural Enemies at War!

INTERACT!

Do you know what a pinkney flange is? Leave a comment!

(c) 2011 John Simcoe

URLs that make you go Hmmm: Tips for creating the perfect website name

2012-04-25T23:01:53Z

Sometimes things just don't work out the way you planned them.

You mean to do something right, and it all goes to hell.

Such is the case with this Web site selling pens.

Yep, you want a pen they've got it for you. The problem only becomes apparent when you see their URL is penisland.net.

That site and nine others are featured in a great blog entry at nextwebgen.com, where we get a peek at sites like therapistfinder.com and speedofart.com.

I admit, I have to question whether someone is really trying to run a business called Pen Island, but it's funny nonetheless. Rather, I would suspect it's just a dummy site created by someone having a bit of fun.

When you think about creating a website for your blog or your business, consider a few things:

LITTLE WORDS OUT OF BIG WORDS: Take a look at the name you want to buy and then break it down into smaller words as they are read from left to right. The people at therapistfinder.com didn't do that.
BIG WORDS OUT OF LITTLE WORDS: Now do the reverse, read beyond your short words and see if they come up with something sinister. The folks at molestationnursery.com (now defunct) didn't do that!
NEED SOME HELP? A lot of website registars offer you suggested names if the one you're trying to create. They want you to create names like BobsKitchenOnline.com or eBobsKitchen.com. Those are horrible names and actually really dated sounding.
NUMBERS GAME: Try to avoid using numbers in your URL. If people try to write down your URL (maybe because they saw it on your commercial vehicle), they might accidentally spell it out instead of using the numerals or vice-versa. There is an exception to this rule though: Three good numbers to use for American-based websites are 411 (suggesting information), 800 (suggesting a commercial site) or 911 (suggestion a place to go if you need help).
NUMBERS GAME PART 2: Speaking of numbers, try to keep your URL short -- under 15 characters. Making your URL too long and unwieldy can make it difficult for people to remember your site name. "Was it Bobs KitchensDesignsInc.com? Or BobsKitchenDesigner.com? Or was it BobKitchensDesignersInc.com?"
LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION: If your website features a very location-specific topic or is a business that won't expand beyond its particular region, then consider adding a city or region name to your URL. For example, PhillyKitchens.com is something easy to remember, and your customers will know you're a local.
BUZZWORDS: Words and phrases to use in your URL that can help you pull people to your site are things like "Expert," "Guide," "Advice," "Solutions," "Secrets," "Buzz," "News" and "Instructions." These are the kinds of phrases people search for and that will help you drive traffic to your site.
ALL IS NOT LOST: One thing to remember that even if you have a bad website name, it now isn't as vital as it was five years ago. Search engines such as Google and Yahoo are pretty good at helping people find what they want. Make sure to fill your first web page with lots of buzzwords specific to your topic and you may recover from a bad URL.

Still, therapistfinder.com? What were they thinking?

(c) 2011 John Simcoe

Basic Fantasy RPG: Old is new again

2012-04-24T01:17:44Z

You can always count on Comics on the Brain to review something that's well out of its publishing cycle. Comics from the 1970s, sure. Movies from the 1990s. Toys from the 1980s. Short stories from the 1940s.

No problem, that's CotB's specialty!

Now we'll do the same with "Basic Fantasy Role-Playing Game," a so-called retro-clone game that takes early RPG principles and features and then merges it with a modern ruleset.

In this case, Basic Fantasy swipes the old look and feel of the Basic Dungeons & Dragons, usually called the Red Book game by collectors, and fuses it with the rules of the third edition of the D&D game.

If you want to get the rules for yourself, and they're totally free in digital format, just hop over to the game's website and download them in PDF form. We opted to buy the game off of Lulu so that I could have it in paper format. More importantly, CotB actually had them printed into a spiral-bound book so the game is especially easy to read and use at the game table. Sure, it's a more little difficult to store this way, but CotB loves the functionality.

THE LOOK

Right off the bat, people who played the Red Book D&D will recognize the design. Basic Fantasy lifts the early TSR fonts and layout, which warms the heart of many a grognard. In particular, it uses the exact same (or nearly the same) headline font.

Also harkening back to the days of a pre-digital world, the illustrations inside are retro looking. These aren't great works of art but they have a kitschy flavor to them that helps to spark the imagination.

The layout follows a similar track. It isn't splashy, and harkens back to the days when a straight line was all that was needed to guide your eye, rather than alternating shades of half-tones.

THE OLD IS NEW

The primary goal of Basic Fantasy was to make playing an RPG easy again. To do so, the writers and contributors took a good look at the early version of the D&D rules. Back then, the game was more about building a living story that it was about angling for the best bonuses.

To keep the number-crunchers under control, Basic Fantasy sticks with the basic classes: Cleric, Fighter, Magic-User and Thief. They stuck with the basic races (Dwarf, Elf, Halfling and Human). Kept the weapons list short. And followed the leads Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson with relatively short lists for their monsters and spells.

These selections mirror the Red Book D&D in its simplicity, and its that simplicity that makes this game a perfect tool to introduce new players (from young to old) to the world of RPGs. It's better to offer them something like this than to have them lost and flustered while trying to play catch-up with more experienced players. Instead, this game's basic nature gets them on equal footing faster than almost any other RPG.

THE RULES

Though Basic Fantasy takes a cue from the original Basic D&D rules, it really models itself after D&D 3.0, which presented a more-unified gaming mechanic than earlier versions of the game.

Basic Fantasy, therefore, is instantly familiar with modern players and intuitive for new players too: You learn the simple task resolution system for one thing, and you've learned it for the whole game.

Don't be fooled though, Basic Fantasy pares down this rule system too. Gone are feats, movement rules and skills. Instead, it wants players to rely on their own ingenuity and creativity to make up for those rule-benders.

Still, the game doesn't ignore some of the classic D&D tropes. Watch out for the dreaded "Save or Die" rules that could turn a shining hero into a steaming corpse with a single roll!

THE MONSTERS

The Basic Fantasy game is a complete package. You only need to download this simple file to get the whole game. As such, it includes a decent collection of monsters to challenge the players.

These are your standard group of monsters, along with a collection of animals, undead and mythological creatures. Almost all of them include a simple illustration, but game masters should make sure to read the descriptions too, since that's where the best flavor of the book is.

Using these standards is another way to help new players get up to speed. Most everyone knows what a medusa is, so they have a basic idea on what it looks like and the best way to vanquish it. Ask 100 people what a Tentamort is, and 99 of them will ask you to leave the room.

THE PURPOSE

When you first look at the Basic Fantasy RPG, you're going to ask yourself "What's the point of this?"

After all, it is a purposeful stunting of a much broader rule system. It's filled with below-professional art. It's an effort to limit a player's choices.

But once you start reading it, and better yet playing it, you see that it's a kick in the junk of your imagination. It makes you look for all the angles in your character, rather than a collection of numbers.

It begs to spend time role-playing and stop adding up bonus numbers.

(c) 2011 John Simcoe

Downward Spirals 29: We're Playing Hockey Here!

2012-04-22T18:44:41Z

When you're into a game, you're really into a game!

Click the pic for a larger image, it's easier to read!

MORE DOWNWARD SPIRALS COMICS!

Wanna see some Tetris in real life? Check out this video!

http://youtu.be/DxUgsu4zxFc

Twitter Reviews: Free Comic Book Day, Batman, Avengers, G.I. Joe, Justice League, Replacement God, Heroes for Hire, Weird Worlds, Action Comics, New Warriors

2012-04-17T02:39:00Z

I review comics on Twitter at twitter.com/johnsimcoe. Here are the March, April and May 2011 reviews!

Batman Arkham City No.1 (2011): A prequel to a video game, so be warned. Paul Dini mostly pulls it together, but it's not exactly great.

Batman Gates of Gotham No. 1 (2011): Good, gawd. Who let this crap out to print? Do I really care about how Gotham's buildings were made? No!

Weird Worlds No. 2 (2011): Maguire delivers as usual with Tanga. Who cares about Lobo? And Garbageman -- Haven't we seen this all before?

Elvira's House of Mystery No. 4 (1986): 2 stories --1st is poemy jibberish. 2nd a standard stalker story that's just uncomfortable to read.

Heroes for Hire No.3 (2011): Essentially a solo Paladin story, and I gotta say it really intrigued me. I will definitely try more of this.

The Replacement God - Book One (1997): Interesting plot to find a new deity within polytheism. Told in way that you never know what's next.

Biggles Recounts the Falklands War (Translated in 2007): Isn't it hilarious there's even a comic called that? It made no sense, by the way.

Ruse No. 1 (2011): Simon Archibald, and a true detective is back in comic books. I miss Butch Guice, but this new artist ain't half bad.

Super Circus 592 (Dell Four Color, 1954): Got this cuz of Mary Hartline photo cover. Interesting to see how they work with a circus setting.

Warlord of Mars Dejah Thoris No. 1 (2011): Its hard not to like a book starring a woman who dresses like she does and is drawn so damn well.

Adventure Comics No. 488 (1981): A Dial H for Hero issue includes a form for readers to send in their character ideas. Is that still valid?

Gladstones School for World Conquerors No. 1 (2011): Super kids going down the wrong path star in this vibrant book. Neat twist on Sky High.

Spider-Girl No. 6 (2011): Done in one issue with the new Hobgoblin. He's way cool, but you know what? So is this Spider-Girl.

Action Comics No. 900 (2011): Never will you read a clearer description of Lex's hatred of Superman. Nice piece by Donner, too.

Steve Canyon 1948: Here's a great book that is well written and incredibly well-drawn. Probably not for everyone, but it was "for" me!

Avengers The Children's Crusade No. 5 (2011): Jack of Hearts is back then he blows up and dies again. This is a recurring theme for him.

The New Warriors No. 36(1993): Guest artist draws a solo Marvel Boy story. Why would Marvel even consider layering awful on awful like this?

New Warriors No. 37-38 (1993): Melodrama to the extreme as heroes' families get targetted. These were a prime example of bad 1990s comics.

G.I. Joe No. 14 (1983): Eskimo mercenaries. That's good enough to keep me interested for 22 pages.

Justice League Generation Lost No. 22-24 (2011): Pretty satisfying conclusion for a JLI book, but I still wish we had Ted Kord back.

Strange Stories for Strange Kids (2001): Cool stuff in here, but the most fun is an toon-ified find-your-path maze. More on the way, I hope

FREE COMIC BOOK DAY

I snagged a few books for Free Comic Book Day 2011. Look for more Twitter reviews of Free Comic Book Day books at my twitter account! Here are the quickie reviews for them:

#FCBD Atomic Robo (2011): Robo's story was the normal excellence. Moon Girl made no sense. Same with Foster Broussard.

#FCBD Geronimo Stilton (2011): Kind of wallops you over tye head with the cat jokes. Love the character designs and coloring though.

#FCBD The Smurfs (2011): Neat package includes old newspaper strips and the tale of the Submariner Smurf. What does Namor know about this?

Writhe around with C.L. Moore

2012-04-14T00:28:50Z

Sometimes when I'm bored with reading my current novel (or, more accurately, bored with reading my current two or three novels), I'll reach into my bookcase and pull out one of the many short-story collections I own.

Years ago, I snagged a sizeable collection of books that each featured a specific writer. The one I grabbed on this day was "The Best of C.L. Moore" and was edited by sci-fi legend Lester Del Rey.

I glanced through his introduction to Moore's work and found that when she was honored at a convention, most seemed to remember the story that starts the collection.

"Shambleau" is an innocuous enough title. The reader has no idea what it means, so they have to dive in and see for themselves.

As a blog writer, innocuous titles are a death-wish for a blog post. If you're too vague, you'll never get any hits.

When we title our blog posts, we consider keywords and searchable names. Every one is vital to sucking more and more search engines to our sites. For us, every word counts.

The same cannot be said for the writers of fantasy and science fiction back when it was first being published in the pulps. Back then, you bought titles of magazines, such as "Weird Tales." Others fell for the beautiful damsel on the cover or the gun-toting gangster. Still others looked for names -- the great writers of the day. Their names guaranteed a good read.

But the titles of the stories themselves, often they were a twist on a phrase. Or "the case of" such and such. Or a nonsense phrase or word, you know, something like "Shambleau."

If I were creating the title for C.L. Moore's short story in this here digital age, it absolutely would not be "Shambleau" it would be "Northwest Smith vs. XXXX."

Northwest Smith, by the way, is the hero of the piece in "Shambleau." It's a sci-fi story set in a Martian frontier town, but it could have just as easily been a cowboy story or, as the name would imply the tale of a rugged mountie who treks through the snowy tundra. But no, this is about a man on Mars.

Anyway, my digital version of this story would have all those XXXX's replaced by the name of "the big reveal" in the story. If I thought a million readers out there had actually read C.L. Moore's "Shambleau," I'd tell you "the big reveal" right now.

But I won't.

I know that you've probably never read "Shambleau," so I can't tell you what it means. I will tell you it's a good story. It's a good story that made me say "A-ha! Now I know how we fell for that way back then!"

And I'll leave my discussion of her exquisite story at that.

I will however discuss the magazine in which it appeared.

The story debuted in Weird Tales' November 1933 issue. The cover of that magazine featured some lovely art by Margaret Brundage, whose covers are considered some of the best to ever appear on that particular magazine.

The image itself is an interesting mix of Mexican "Day of the Dead" and Hollywood starlet pinup themes, and a memorable cover indeed. I am not aware, however, whether or not it is meant to illustrate any story inside. (It definitely does not illustrate "Shambleau.")

Below, you'll see the actual painting for the cover, minus the trade dress.

The magazine also featured a novel from Clark Ashton Smith, and you can read about his contributions here.

The Long Job 3: On the Rebound

2012-04-12T01:30:01Z

Sometimes you have to be careful about choosing your words.

CLICK THE PIC FOR A LARGER IMAGE!

OTHER EPISODES!
The Long Job 1:The Interview
The Long Job 2: Clothes Make the Man
The Long Job 3: On the Rebound
The Long Job 4: Work Terms
The Long Job 5: Home Improvements

MORE COMICS!

The Downward Spirals -- Your team of hockey-playing opossums!
Redlighter No. 1 -- How can a lighthouse keeper defend his town from pirates?
Poodles Vs. Penguins -- Natural Enemies at War!

INTERACT!

What was your worst job ever? Leave a comment!

(c) 2011 John Simcoe

Bratz in the Belfry: Yo Go Ghoul vs. Monster High

2012-04-09T01:09:19Z

Here's something that's kind of interesting:

Way back in 2007, I was writing for a now-defunct blog called "Pop Quiz, Hotshot!" That blog covered pop culture in general and allowed its writers to look into whatever obscure corners of the Pop Culture landscape we deemed interesting.

Naturaly, CotB was interested in comic books. One day I was pointed down an interesting path. Here's what I discovered, and I'm quoting from my rescued writings:

Comic-book artist and writer John Byrne is a legend in the industry, having key roles in the revival of "The Uncanny X-Men" and Superman.

More recently, he's worked on the likes of "Blood of the Demon" and "Doom Patrol," and all those sinister sounding comic books must have gotten him thinking about monsters quite a bit, because according to his Web site, Byrne took a week off his regular drawing and writing efforts to put together a cute new web comic called "You Go, Ghoul."

The comic features the Charlie's Angels-style exploits of three young monsters (or at least young-looking monsters) as they work as private eyes in a world full of the supernatural oddities.

A bit high-concept, sure, but so was "Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas," and look at the marketing machine that became. With hideous "Nightmare"-Bratz doll fusion in mind, PQH! thinks the concept is just cute enough -- and faux-adult enough -- that it could send pre-teen girls into a merchandising tizzy.

It's not going to happen over night, a concept like this needs to gain some steam, but let it stew for a few years, see what happens and remember that PQH! talked about it first.

Back in the present, I was amazed this past Christmas, when one of the must-have items for pre-Tween girls was a fancy line of Bratz-inspired dolls called "Monster High."

These girls are monstrous in nature -- there's Frankie Stien, Draculaura, Clawdeen Wolf and Lagoona Blue -- and harken back to the Universal Monsters of years gone by -- Frankenstein, Dracula, Wolf Man and the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

Partially thanks to those classic icons, the "Monster High" franchise is huge. You can buy Monster High video games, dolls, Halloween costumes, books, make-up and party supplies. Word is, there's even a movie musical in the works.

Looking at the two properties, "You Go, Ghoul" and "Monster High," there's plenty of similarities. But it's also not a far stretch to see that "Monster High" is also popular thanks to the likes of Twilight and other neo-horror works that have surfaced lately.

Could John Byrne sue?

If were him, I wouldn't. Instead, I'd offer to re-brand the work I had done as a" Monster High" digital comic, or better yet a mini-comic to be dropped in every "Monster High" package they ship.

Just like Lego's success with its "Bioncle" comics, Byrne could be in control of one the comic industry's most-read properties.

(c) 2011 John Simcoe

Downward Spirals 28: Hockey on the Inside

2012-04-06T14:00:25Z

Even though this is a rough and tumble sport, lets talk about our feelings.

Click the pic for a larger image, it's easier to read!

MORE DOWNWARD SPIRALS COMICS!

Just what does it take to be a goalie? Or better yet, what does it take to dress like one?

http://youtu.be/K6dbzmyLTmo

Twitter Reviews: Jam! Roller Derby, Wonder Woman, Death of the New Gods, BattleTech, Conan, Less than Heroes and Moon Knight

2012-04-03T06:31:00Z

I review comics on Twitter at twitter.com/johnsimcoe. Here are the February and March 2012 reviews!

Less than Heroes (2004): David Yurkovich creates a superhero world that would happily host a visit from the Vertigo-era Doom Patrol.

Marc Spector Moon Knight No. 43 (1992): It's amazing to see how bad the art is in this Infinity War crossover. Even the cover is awful.

The Savage Sword of Conan No. 89 (1983): Conan goes hunting for slave traders as Alfredo Alcala offers some beautiful art.

Wonder Woman No. 129 (1998): John Byrne really did wonders with this title, offering a great plot featuring Egg Fu. Wish his run was longer.

Superboy No. 1 (2011): The kid is born again to the same mystery, but it was presented quite well. Lobdell handles it well.

Battletech No. 3 (1987): Hardly a giant robot to be seen, but the art was nice for an '80s indy. But why aren't there more giant robots?

Battletech No. 5 (1988): For the first 13 pages, this comic shows the events of a meeting. Wow. No wonder Blackthorne is no longer with us.

BattleTech Annual No. 1 (1989): The action is hard to follow in these. Color would have helped the fairly good art on this robot comic.

Flash Gordon No. 2 (2008): Ardden's take just doesn't work without Al Williamson-style artist. What's up with Ming's arms?

The Family Dynamic No. 2 (of 3): "Battle of the Planets"-style costume designs featured in a story of secret identities. Fun but not great.

Family Dynamic No. 3 (2008): Final issue, but clearly meant to be longer. What happened? Decent stuff from @jtorrescomics

Fables No. 102 (2011): Launches a fairy tale superteam. Fables mocking superheroes? What does writer think of #Grimm? Or #OnceUponATime?

Death of the New Gods No. 1 (2007): While the story was a bit 'meh,' I was blown away at Jim Starlin's amazing pencils.

Death of the New Gods No. 2 (2007): The plot finally gets moving and then there's a lampshade-hanging hero brawl. Good enough to read No. 3.

Death of the New Gods No. 3 (2008): I like that Superman, and only Superman, is teaming up with the New Gods. A good choice, Starlin.

Death of the New Gods No. 4 (2008): Dull issue, but I think I can ID the perp in this cosmic murder mystery. If it's him, this story sucks.

Death of the New Gods No. 5 (2008): Some interesting philosophy getting thrown around here ... and #Superman too. (That's my zinger, folks!)

Death of the New Gods No. 6 (2008): It's rare for me to actually like Orion, but in this one, he had some kahonies for sure!

Death of the New Gods No. 7 (2008): The killer is revealed ... and it's someone who they chased earlier in the series. Not a surprise then.

Death of the New Gods No. 8(2008): Final issue makes this a good, but not great series. Was oddly insular. Had decent crossover potential.

And Then One Day Sketchbook No. 5 (2005): This is an art journal for with stories. The problem is they are really boring stories.

JAM! TALES FROM THE ROLLER DERBY

Special! Here's a multi-part review of stories from the "Jam! Tales from the Roller Derby" trade paperback. Each story got its own post!

Flat Track Derby: Rules! (2010): A quickie rules guide, but I'm still confused, even after seeing derby live. Basics: Skate fast.

Skatertots (2010): The trials and tribulations of learning to skate. Plus a look at secret lives of derby girls. Love page 4's diagram.

Flat Track U (2010): A great story and classy art of a girl finding her place in roller derby. Best story of the bunch.

Galzilla (2010): I have to admit this one left me incredibly confused. But dang, this artist just rocks. A less eclectic story, please!

Reno's Street Vibrations (2010): Energetic art paired with a slice-of-life story of the derby. Funny stuff and I want those socks too!

A Story of Derby Love (2010): Are they or aren't they? This answers the question on every guys mind as they watch a derby. Best art!

Wait, I know what you're asking, "Where's the rest of the stories from 'Jam!'?" Well, I didn't get to them by the end of March. You'll have to just go and check my Twitter account for the rest.

(c) 2011 John Simcoe

He-Man & the two versions of "The Power of Point Dread!"

2012-03-31T00:20:27Z

CotB dives once again into the mythos of the "Masters of the Universe" mini-comics, a series of promotional booklets inserted with most of the He-Man action figures. As a young blogger-to-be, these comics provided me with the story of what was supposed to happen in the world of He-Man.

Back then, you see, I didn't have cable television, so my mind wasn't numbed by the stupidity of the dull-witted Filmation cartoon. Instead, my playtime was shaped by the likes of Alfredo Alcala and Mark Texeira.

But like any other major corporation, Mattel, the makers of the He-Man toyline, was prone to odd little hiccups in their production.

Case in point: There wereactually two versions of "The Power of Point Dread," a story meant to feature the toy accessory called "Point Dread and the Talon Fighter," which was a very interesting toy in itself.

You see -- it was a vehicle and a playset all in one. The vehicle was a pot-bellied bird-shaped jet plane. The playset was a rocky, fort-like structure called Point Dread, which was a landing perch for the jet and served as a "RADAR" conning tower that could be mounted atop the greatest playset of them all -- Castle Greyskull.

Packaged with the Point Dread toyset was "The Power of ... Point Dread!" (and note that there are ellipsis in the title -- that's important later).

This comic was one of CotB's first He-Man mini-comics, and it gloriously set the stage for what He-Man meant to this little collector.

The story opens with a great image of Skeletor, levitating in the lotus position in front of Castle Greyskull. Back then, it was an unsettling image to your little CotB columnist -- it was a skull-faced guy engaging in some creepy occult activity after all.

From there, we learn of that Skeletor has the Crystal of the Caverns (a name that deepens the creepiness) that will allow him to gain control of the Point Dread and the Talon Fighter.

Okay, sure, we'll go along with that. He does just that and promptly starts attacking Eternia, and things go downhill as they always do for Skeletor. (You'd think Skeletor would just attack some other part of the planet. Some part where He-Man isn't!)

A fight ensues and, you guessed it, He-Man smashes the crap out of things.

Along the way, another incredibly important aspect of the He-Man universe was revealed to CotB: That Eternia had things like lasers and jet planes ... right beside the monsters, magic and swords.

To me, that was like all the awesomeness of Conan crashing into Star Wars. It was a concept I had never thought of, and it was mesmerizing!

As the mini-comic wrapped up, another cool thing caught CotB's loving eye. In the background of one panel, Man-at-Arms leads away Skeletor's army in chains. What was so cool is that they all looked different. Some were short, others were tall. There were fat monsters and there were beanpole monsters.

With that, I understood how Skeletor had the nuts to even try to fight He-Man, who was so clearly Skeletor's superior. Skeletor had man power ... no, wait, he had monster power!

And since they all looked different, that meant that any monster toy I had could be on Skeletor's side. From Sand People to Shogun Warriors to Bigfoots, I had an instant army to team up with Skeletor.

Here's what He-Man.org says about the mini-comic version of "The Power of ... Point Dread!"

This minicomic seems to be a sequel to the book it was packaged with. Skeletor, using the Mystic Crystal of the Caverns to focus his psychic energies, captures the Talon Fighter from Grayskull after a brief struggle. In the process of boarding the ship, he drops the crystal, which shatters upon impact of the ground. Ignoring the fact, he almost immediately begins wreaking havoc on the palace at Eternos. During the battle, he even knocks Zoar out of the air. Fortunately, He-Man evades Skeletor's lasers and tricks him into crashing. Later, the Talon Fighter and Point Dread magically reappear on Grayskull. Chalk another one up for the home team.

00074380

Packaged with Zodac and Point Dread and Talon Fighter playset.

1983, Series 2.

But that all was what was great about "The Power of ... Point Dread!" (with ellipsis). It wasn't long after getting that comic, that I got "The Power of Point Dread!" (without ellipsis).

That version of the "Point Dread" story was something completely different. Where the "..."-titled story was drawn by Mark Texeira, this one was drawn by Conan artist Alfredo Alcala.

And while both were comics, the non-ellipsis version of the story was a wonderfully done read-along audio book. This story was sold in the audio section of most department stores, and came with a small record that told the story for you on your record player.

Most importantly, it didn't just "blah-blah-blah" its way through the story, this was intensely voice-acted, had a spine-tingling soundtrack and wild sound effects. This, not that dumb Filmation cartoon, was He-Man at its absolute best.

Topping it all off is some really fantastic art by Alfredo Alcala. It was easily his best art while working for Mattel.

Check it out here: http://youtu.be/QU9We5oeClE

Even today, I get really excited just listening to it. Like the mini-comics, this audio drama has some intensely creepy mysticism, and that is exactly the way the "Masters of the Universe" should be. A "Masters of the Universe" world where Orko and Cringer are out, and Cthulhu-type magics and bird-shaped planes are in.

Which of the two "Point Dread" stories is the best? Even though the mini-comic greatly influenced how I played with the toyline, the sheer bombastic nature of the audio drama wins that race.

It truly has the power.